I Would Have Lost Heart...

“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed

That I would see the goodness of the LORD

In the land of the living.

Wait on the LORD;

Be of good courage,

And He shall strengthen your heart;

Wait, I say, on the LORD!”

Psalm 27:13-14

Tomorrow is a special day to those of us who call the United States our home… it is the day we celebrate our independence and freedom, and the official birth, as it were, of our great nation. I know there is much turmoil today in our country that could temper our enthusiasm to celebrate together this great country we are privileged to live in but trust me, as one who has had the immense privilege to travel and see God’s hand at work in many other countries, we are truly blessed to call the USA our home.

As I sit here this evening reflecting on tomorrow, I am reminded that July 4th will never be viewed in the same way for me in light of the anniversary I “celebrated” today. It was July 3, 2014, when I sat in my Neurologist’s office, having the shopping to do right afterwards for our Fourth of July celebration that was to occur the next day, that I heard those words, “We believe you have ALS.” from two Neurologists, one of which has become a regular part of my life and that I have come to trust greatly over these three years. These three years have been a journey… one that in my flesh I would prefer to not have taken, but in my spirit I am so thankful for. If I were to begin to write of all the lessons learned on this journey, things the Lord has blessed me to come to know and to grow in, and others I am still grasping to fully lay hold of,  I am sure it would be quite some time before my writing would end… and those lessons, truths, and insights just keep getting added to daily.

One truth stands fast in the midst of it all, that I cling to moment to moment daily, and it is perfectly given to us in the quote above from Psalm 27:13-14. You see, every day I wake and move to get out of bed; every night I am awakened by cramps that cause me to get out of bed to somehow find relief; every time I go to put on my shoes and see that ankle brace that has become a regular item of “clothing” for me; every time I struggle to keep my balance doing the simplest of tasks; every time I have to watch my wife or kids or someone else do something that is “my job” to do; every time I go to speak and realize my speech is slowly changing and causing me to concentrate more on the simple task of talking; in these moments, and so many others, I am reminded of this disease I have and I am tempted to lose heart in the midst of the battle, yet He patiently and lovingly draws me back to those precious words. God has truly poured out His goodness in the land of the living through the sending of His Son, and if He had done nothing more than that it would be all we should need, yet for so many of us in the U.S. He has done so much more. I have personally seen God pour out His goodness in my life, goodness so undeserved, and I am compelled by His faithfulness toward me to daily trust and wait on Him, looking to Him to be the great Orchestrator of my life – which is the most courageous thing this self-centered, self-reliant person can muster up. In doing this, I have daily found the strength to press on for Him and to His glory. It has not always been easy, but neither was going to the cross for Jesus – what is my struggle when compared to the sacrifice that He made for me and us? So, to honor the One who gave His life for me, I wait and trust and rely on God to be God, and allow Him to have His work in and through me, whatever that work is, knowing that whatever that work accomplishes it will bring glory to Him and Him alone.

Interestingly, this leads me to a truth that stands out from Psalm 27 in relation to what we celebrate tomorrow as Americans. It may sound simplistic but here it is - we have the freedom to celebrate our Independence Day tomorrow simply because our courageous ancestors claimed their DEPENDENCE first upon God and then on one another as they set forth on the dangerous task of creating a God-fearing free nation. From God’s Word, exemplified by our founder’s actions, we learn that true independence - real independence - requires a Godly dependence and sacrifice, and that, my friends, never comes cheaply or without a high cost. Our forefathers knew this, and won our independence by being willing to depend upon the Hand of the Almighty God and a willingness to wait on and trust in Him, while being willing to pay the ultimate price if necessary. The question then must be asked - am I, are we, willing to individually learn this lesson and do the same? I can truly say I have experienced a greater freedom, an independence from the things of this world and that would hold me back – pride, defeat, self-pity, anger, frustration, quitting the fight - through living a life of greater dependence, first upon God and then upon those He has surrounded me with. Yes, there have been and continue to be times when it is humbling and extremely hard, but what a glorious humbling it is when I am willing to trust and wait on the Lord as He daily unfolds His plan for me and my life. I may not know fully the end of this road He has me on and what He will accomplish through it, but I pray I am able to remain totally dependent upon Him for every single breath, every single heartbeat until the day He calls me home! Until then, I will wait on and trust in the Lord.

Happy Independence Day...  Selah!!